Should I Let Him Pay?

After browsing fbomb, I came across an article that discussed the common practice of men paying for women's meals, drinks, tickets, etc. The author of "Let Me Buy You Dinner" claims that by refusing to be paid for, she is keeping her self-respect and working towards her life's goal: "I won't be lulled into just settling down with someone exceptional- I am going to be exceptional."

While most of us don't think much of the men-paying-for-dinner ritual, she describes it as a "twisted tradition". While I agree that the origins of this tradition came from a sexist environment where women were assumed to depend on men for everything, including money, I don't think the tradition still carries those sexist implications. Most modern men probably don't think that women are incapable of paying, any more than they think that women are incabable of opening a door for themselves or pulling out their own chairs. 

The author claims that she is standing up for her "right to equality and self-determination". My question is, will we ever be able to move on from America's sexist past? Yes, chivalrous traditions stem from a place of discrimination. So do political conventions, which were created because the "people" weren't trusted to make good decisions when it came to choosing presidential candidates. Nowadays, however, we have gotten over the original motivations for conventions and hold them to officially determine our presidential candidates. Why can't the same be done for chivalry? We should treat it simply as an act of kindness, just as we would if a woman held a door for a man or bought her friend lunch. By hanging on to and pointing out sexism of the past, we are spoiling unassuming and generous behavior.  

Comments

[Camille M.]

I agree with you that a man paying for a woman's dinner is just a tradition. I feel that feminists should move to other forms of sexism because this no longer has the discriminatory meaning behind it that it once had.

[Nicole H.]

Thank You!!! I thought that I was the only one who thinks that feminism is trying to kill chivalry.

[Mark]

It was once tradition that women would do a man's laundry. If women expect men to pay for their meals, then it would be equally fair to expect them to wash my clothes.

Ladies, it's 2012. Either get in the kitchen, or be independent.

[Nicole H.]

okay Mark, totally uncalled for and that is not what either of us are trying to say. Women feel that it is nice for a man to do these things but its not tit for tat so grow up. Love and relationships isn't always about give and take. Obviously, you were raised with your mindset but if you keep it, you will not find a spouse who wants to be your "mom". Women like men who are independent and still respectful to women. I think that you might want to work on your level of respect for women.