zaaaAP Lit Blog 4

Ideas

This is a bit late..but maybe it will be counted..

Consumerism is everywhere, I think that most of us can agree with that.  We are flooded with commercials, billboards, magazine pullouts, and flyers that advertise some product or another.  The purpose of these advertisements is to encourage the public to go to a store, buy said product, and live a much more convenient and enjoyable life because of said product.  I believe that it's impossible to escape these ever present advertisements, and also that consumerism has evolved to define our lives.

Holidays such as Christmas, Mother's Day, Valentine's day, etc., have become competitions about who can buy the best present, and through these presents, truly show one's appreciation for another.  Companies have presented Christmas as a time when the family gets together around the tree and opens presents, which represents family unity and happiness.  Advertisers use the image of a happy family when selling their products, painting a picture for the consumer that one can make their family happy if they buy a certain product.

Think about it, every holiday you can think of involves buying presents.  It's a cycle that our society has fallen into, and we confuse intangible ideas such as love and happiness with tangible products.

On another note, good luck to everyone in the Class of 08.  It's been awesome getting to know everyone, and I'm sure we will all succeed in whatever we choose, probably because Bernie has prepared us so well.

Home Sweet Home?

I don't know about the rest of you, but I'm scared as hell for college. I'm heading to Washington in September and will effectively have a four-hour plane ride between me and my family. When I ask my sister (who's out in San Fransisco for college) when she's getting home, she now replies "I'm home right now, dude". My question to you future college students is, when does college become your new home? When do we really leave childhood and our house behind? And how on earth are we going to handle it??

Excuse Me, I Would Just Like to Comment

Pardon me, but I must make a public announcement. Kevin Hallmen, yes I probably spelled that wrong, would never be the man he is, without my wisdom and guidance. Let me just elaborate on that. Since the beginning of our friendship, I feared for Kevin's progression and thus voluntarily yet secretively made him a mission of mine, to make kevin hallmen affectionate by the end of my senior year. MUCH HAS CHANGED, let me tell you. He has blossomed fom a loving awkward boy to a diving into photo groups, licking liz's face, affectionate man. Oh yes. And because of that I credit none other than myself and Kevin can vouch for this.

Now on to more important things, other then Kevin that is.
It is Friday, and I'm terrified for the day to end. I have no idea what is to become of me in the future, well of us. As a class that is. Also, don't freak because i'm going ot track as many of you down and come see you at work or on the streets or at a concert, whereever you may be I'll be there. Give me 10 years. I'll find you.

Signing off forever on this beloved blog.

Heidy your class was kick-ay. My favorite of the year. No kidder here. Thank you!

Let's Go!

Doing the BigIdea for the last project of the year was half frustration half interesting. It was hard to get up the energy to do another huge high school project at the end of the year when all I wanted to do was be done. If I had not been interested in the topic of family it would have been a lot more difficult. Our group was a good mixture of thoughts and ideas and we all brought something to the table. Our discussion in class about family was much like the discussions our group was able to have in preparation for the project. I know that I will be having similar, controversial conversations in college and it is important to be prepared with how you feel about important issues in our world today. Oak Park is such a liberal, democratic bubble and we need to understand that there is a whole other world with people that share and object things we have to say. I'm very ready for college and we will all do great things whereever we go.

Controversy

As I was trying to decide what to blog about, I remembered the heated debate that happened when we were giving our presentation on Family. It was interesting to see that all the fuss that was brought up, by people that had ideally nuclear families. I thought that that was particularly odd that people were contesting us but didn't really know anything about the other side of the story. Ideally, I would have wanted someone with a  single or no parent family to talk up and chances would have been that they had role models in there life that helped them become the wonderful person they are. So, as we go off into different worlds, I would like people to look at their lives and realize how much they have and should be grateful for. You have all been blessed so dont take things for granted.

Summer

It's kind of wierd, it's the last day of high school, but you still have three more months in OP (or RF).  I think it's good because it's a more gradual process.  I think the day I go to college might be more climactic than today, although today is really exciting.  I know I'll still see some of the people I know this summer when I'm lifeguarding, or just hanging out.  So I guess my question is what are people doing this summer?

I'm sorry if this is incoherent...but I suppose it doesn't matter anyways...

It is currently 3:27 AM.  This post is nothing worthwhile (so please, don't feel any obligation to continue reading) and I'm probably one of the last people the post on this blog...save those who forgot to blog this week and will end up doing it after the fact (I found myself in that boat quite often this year so I get it).  In any case, it's 3:27 AM and I am still up working the last night before high school ends.  It strikes me how silly it is that I've just spent the last however many hours working on physics labs and now blogging, when really, grades don't really matter any more.  I guess that's my big idea, that one that we started the year off with such a bang with, Mersault's ever frustrating argument that nothing matters.  I've always sort of been in support of this idea, but somehow tonight has eccentuated it even more.  It doesn't matter whether I go to bed now, or work on my labs for another hour or two (I'll probably end up with the same grade on them anyways.)  It doesn't matter that I snuck out of my house to have one last harmlessly rebellious high school adventure, since my parents will never know I took their car.  It wouldn't matter even if they did, since I'll be leaving in a few months anyways and it's getting harder and harder for them to come up with reasons that they should have some sort of tight hold over me.  I suppose if I were a little less exhausted, I might try and convince myself that things matter because you give meaning to them, and that to go through life not having anything matter to you is the worst possible punishment.  But, since it's now 3:36 and I'm pretty sure next to no one will ever read this post, I won't try and go into that here.  This is silly...I don't know what I'm writing now...but it really doesn't matter anywyas right??

...And it All Comes Back to The Stranger

I got home at like 2:45 because I went to see the midnight showing of Sex and the City, and I realized I forgot to blog!  (Here I would go into how Mr. Big reminds me vaguely of Mersault but I don't want to spoil the movie.)

What's the point of writing this blog post?  Why am I doing this?  I'm pretty sure that if I didn't my grade would remain the same.  I just checked skyward (which is absurd both because I need to get things done and go to bed and also because tomorrow is the last day of school and whatever my grades are, they are probably not going to change) and I have 91 and what is an A? 92? 93? I can never remember.  I can never decide if grades really matter, and I'm not sure if I'm blogging now because that is what is expected or what.  Anyway the only thing I really have to say is that on the last night of high school it all comes back to The Stranger because I am having a mini existential crisis in the writing of this blog right now.  Oh my god I am so tired. 

Goodbye to Childhood...

I was reading one of the earlier posts that discussed that tomorrow represents the end of our childhood. How is it that once we set off to college, we automatically become adults? I mean I don't feel any different. I feel that at this point, probably since the middle of high school, we established a real sense of identity. We became to understand our likes, dislikes, who were are a person, etc. Or maybe we're still searching for that?

I guess all that I'm trying to ask is what "holds us back" or at least what gives the world cause to believe that we're held back when we're still in high school? Is it our parents, our friends, or constructed identity that was formed in our former years? It's just something I was pondering...

Fly from the nest...now

This is diifficult because everyone took all of the good ones, but lately, my daddy and I have been having "in-depth" convos about college (of course- I assume everyone else has too). But since I'm the baby of my family, he is having a hard time with me deciding to "go so far from (him)". I decided to go away from college because I felt that I needed to take risks and really push myself. Plus, it's college! You gotta get away from your normal routine and learn to branch out!

So, my big idea is INDEPENDENCE (And no, I did not get it from the Weebie song-I hate that song!)! It's hard to conceive that we are going to adults now and that all the childish games and thoughts have to be boxed away...forever! Soon, we'll have degrees, jobs, our own place, get married (yikes), kids (oh dear...), etc. We're moving on and that's it. We're becoming independent (truly) and that means responsibility.

So Daddy, forgive your baby girl for leaving, but it's what I gotta do...independent or not, I'm still your boo!

The creation of a post

Write about a big idea that has influenced my life.  Hmmm...after this class I'm  pretty much convinced that life is just a mess if related big ideas.  Here's my favorite big idea: creation (I'm talking about artistically, not making babies all though one could argue that the two acts are highly related).  Anyway, this year I took AP Music Theory, a class which challenged me to compose.  Composition is not something that I'd ever attempted before, nor one that I'd ever really thought about attempting.  But after being given the theory skills to attempt this feat I became addicted.  Now I'm addicted.  Sure, I'm not really into composing fugues and four part chorales, but when I can just write what I want, I could easily waste a day staring at a computer screen moving notes around.  What gets me is the idea that theres nothing, and then theres something, seemingly out of nowhere.  Matter can't be created or destroyed, it has to come from somewhere, but music just appears, it comes out of something intangible, ones thoughts and emotions.
Theres my big idea for the night,
goodbye blog!

Time

So, here's a big idea that we haven't really talked about and that seems very relevant to all of us right now: time. The thing about time is, it's really the only thing you can count on.

I can think of a few instances in my life when I've felt great trepidation about the future. Normally its when I'm really happy, and I know that things are about to change and I want to prevent that from occurring. Unfortunately, I have not yet been successful in that endeavor. And that's because no matter how happy I am, and no matter how much I don't want tomorrow to come, I know that it will. The one thing I'm sure of is that time will keep going.

That's kind of reassuring in a way, but its also scary. However, the other thing that I've noticed is that even though these changes occur, I adjust. Maybe I'm not quite as happy as I used to be, but I'm fine. And that's good enough for me most of the time.

As hard as it is to welcome such big changes if you're content with your life, it's the only option. Go with the flow. Make the best of it. And remember that you can always count on time.

Stop The Catbox?

My big idea is graduation.  It is difficult to believe that the time has come for us to venture out into the world on our own.  This is one of the biggest turning points in our lives.  I believe we should cherish this moment for it will not occur again.  We will all go through major changes very soon.  Many of these changes will stick with us forever.
It's a very exciting time, although I am somewhat nervous.  It is hard to know what to expect when we go to college.  Now we are faced with more responsibilities than we ever had. 
Looking back on my four years at OPRF, I believe I had a good high school experience overall.
I was hoping there would be more senior pranks pulled this year, although the one with the gorilla was pretty cool!

my last post

So this post isn't supposed mushy but for some strange reason I'm really crying right now. I REALLY am going to miss coming to class and conversing with all of you guys. I know I should be shouting for joy eager to end this chapter of my life and move on to the "real world" but a piece of me is really going to miss high school. I really feel like I'm saying goodbye to childhood once we finish our last day tomorrow. But anyways You guys it really was a pleasure meeting you all and I hope that I have made as much as impact on you all that you have made on me. Can't wait to see you tomorrow and enjoy our last day together!! I'm even going to miss you Bernie!!!

Big Ideas

I thought the big idea presentations were all pretty cool. Although all the ideas really were big, I still think a lot of people had trouble talking about them for two days. However all of them turned out to be very interesting. Therefore I think I'll write random comments and opinions on some of the ones I remember.

Consumerism is mostly a big idea because we live in a culture that is almost defined by consumerism. This group was right in saying that there is no escape from it. No matter where you look you will see ads or some other symbol of our consumerist society

The idea of a just war is a pretty provoking one. Can war ever really be justified? The criteria given for a just ranged between reasonable and a little idiotic. Though it may seem cruel to simplify human lives in the form of an equation, I think it is important to think firstly about the number of lives lost versus the number of lives saved.

I couldn't help but feel uncomfortable for a lot of the drag presentation. Say what you want about how society has forced these gender stereotypes upon me, but I can't help but think a man who acts, dresses like, and wants to become a woman is kind of weird.

One Big Musical Idea

I believe that music has become a very influential idea for many people, including myself.  It is a passage of emotion through sound and script, and can express views on life, death, and anything in between.  My group did a presentation on protest music that I found very interesting.  Music has long been used to defy governments, social constructions, and emotions.  It has helped people spread their views in a meaningful way, (unlike the grafiti).  Although the meaning of some music is lost through time, the idea of people writing it and listening to it keeps the whole thing alive.  It gives people an unrestricted expression of the first amendment.  My freedom of speech can be limited in protests by police or literature by governments, but music cannot be stopped.  People will always write it, and others will listen.  If that idea reaches millions of people or just one, it is worth the expression.

STOP CALLING THIS THE END!

I am not completely sure if this applies to all of you, but I am pretty sure that this is the end of high school AS WELL AS the beginning of something new. We are (almost all) now adults, on our way to our new schools, new jobs, new lives. It is difficult to leave some of these things behind, but somethings are inevitably left behind. I would have to say that we are not going to the end, but more of a modern Renaissance of our lives.

The End of the Road

When I look back on high school it seriously flew right before my eyes. I never thought that it would come the time to wrap everything up and say goodbye to the people who have taught you and the people who you have known since childhood. I believe my senior year enriched me the most academically because it didnt focus on stressing a student out but rather learning at your own speed. Which I why I'm doing better than other years. I am going to miss just seeing certain people in the hallway, because college isnt one building you dont get that home-like feeling while there. I have met alot of new people and had alot of great teachers so I'm feeling like I'm about to lose apart of myself. I wonder why I didn't feel like this during the school year?

But anywho, starting over at a new school is defintely going to be hard. Meeting new people (not that hard for me), making connections and bonds, and just being away from good ol' OPRF is the challenge. But it's time to open the new chapter in my life because time doesn't stop no matter what I say!

And In The End, The Love You Take Is Equal To The Love You Make

I can't believe this is my last blog post. Weird. Everything about tomorrow being the last day ever of high school is weird.

Anyway, I just wanted to blog a bit about the Big Idea project in 4th period today. Especially since I'm currently in Women In History, I find the subject of gender construction to be fascinating. I really enjoyed the group's presentation. Especially the Mulan songs. I felt like everyone in the class got to thinking really hard about this idea. Gender is interesting because to most of us it is so inherent. For me personally, I have never struggled with being a girl. The idea of gender eradification seems weird and unnecessary to me. However, I think it is easy to forget how many people really feel that they don't fit inside society's rigid lines. Today Bernie said how scary it would be if in the future our parents could pick our gender, skin color etc, how weird it would be to have our identity determined for us. However, I feel that so much of our identity is determined for us. Society presents "the way to be" for almost everything. People do not come out as blank slates, as much as we'd like to think so.

I am going to miss 4th period AP Coll so much. I have had such a great year learning with you guys. We have such a smart, funny, interesting, and outspoken group of kids. I really hope my college classes are full of equally interesting and intellectual people.

Goodbye, typepad.com

Happy Ending?

I found myself thinking today about how many people I am not going to know in five years. It's sad because everybody has two types of friends. You have the friends that are really close and you hang out after school, and you also have those friends that you only see in school. For the people who are your close friends you'll hopefully keep in touch (It might take work but you can do it). For the friends that aren't so close, you play the "hi and bye" game in the hallways but other than that... nothing. Maybe in the future you'll see a couple of your not-so-close friends in a random Jewel. And you'll actually be happy to see them. And then together for about five to ten minutes you'll take a drive down memory lane, but after that its over.

It makes me sad to think about how many people and personalities that I am not going to remember in about two years (unless I'm flipping through my year book). It makes me think about how many people I used to have close relationships with but then fell apart (just over time, nothing personal).  Being somebody that is extremely bad at remembering names I kinda dread the day we have a high school reunion but I will be happy about seeing the people again.

As for the really close friends that you actually plan on keeping in touch with: make plans now. Hopefully these people will get a call once a month or once a week and one day you might even be able to fit the schedules together and have lunch.

Reality everybody is going to make a whole new set of friends in college. That fact isn't really all that scary (for me at least) but personally hope I don't forget the fun and diversity I experienced in this high school.

Goodbye forever type- pad and super blog and good luck next year:)

The rest of my life

while i mentioned this in my critique of the class i would like to mention it here so others can see it to. i would like to express my enjoyment of the presentation of the big idea projects. of the ones presented on my class i was impressed by all of them and they all gave me a different perspective on the world. i would also like to encourage Bernie to do more projects like this next year, perhaps before the last two weeks of school when no one really focuses on work, because i thought they were very powerful

The End

I have nothing else to say, so I guess I'll just leave a quick post about the end of high school and the end of life at OPRF in particular. Even though I know many people are struggling between feelings of sadness and being overjoyed that we are finally done, my thoughts right now actually lean more towards sadness. Overall, I've really really enjoyed my time here, without a doubt. I've found some really good teachers, met a lot of new people, and it's just weird that this is basically the last time I'll see some of these people ever again. It's weird. Well, there was no point to this post, but basically even though I cannot wait for college, I'm still sad that these days are coming to an end.

Just Another (Graffitied) Brick in the Wall

Witnessing the rather uncreative and unartistic graffiti today led me to consider a different big idea... the freedom of self-expression.

Are there lines to cross (such as in this case)? What constitutes appropriate means of expression? If you really do believe exactly in someone elses' philosophy (or war story), can you express that as your own idea? Why do patents and bibliographies exist?

I cannot say I know all or any of the answers to the above questions, however, I do know what I believe. I think self-expression is quintessential and should be allowed up to the point where it is detrimental to others. I'll give you that some of the graffiti was entertaining, but do you know how expensive it will be to remove that and how tacky OPRF looks until then? It does not even really qualify as graffiti in my book, just shitty writing expressing crap messages.

Did I step over the line with that last comment? Whatever. We are all ultimately seniors and do not care what we express to an extent. Just ponder the idea for a bit before you continue celebrating the glory days of graduation.

Some further reading on transgender

Our presentation on transvestitism and the fluidity of gender is over.  If anyone is interested on exploring the topic further, I have some recommendations:

When Girls Will Be Boys-  An article from the March 16 New York Times Magazine about a young man (born a woman) attending Barnard, Columbia University's girls only sister school.

When She Graduates as He- A similar article about how the Seven Sisters schools are attempting to deal with the growing transgender community at their all-girls schools.

Man Is Six-Months Pregnant- News story about the now famous pregnant man who was born a biological woman.

Transamerica- A pretty good film about a pre-op transexual attempting to get to know her estranged son.  Featuring Desperate Housewives' Felicity Huffman.

Enjoy, discuss, and have a nice summer.

Our Malleable Identity

So I wanted to be a little controversial on my last post the year. I was thinking about when people say how throughout high school you get a better knowledge of yourself. I seems a little fishy that people "gain knowledge of themselves" at the same time that their brains stop developing.

What if all that really happens when you "learn who you are" is that you actually settle on an identity. Perhaps before you become mature, your identity is fluid. You are free to determine your own likes and dislikes, maybe your own personality. As you "learn about yourself" you are actually determining who you are.

I was always dubious when college essays "tell us who you are?" Does this mean that I am not free to choose who I want to be? Does it mean that its too late now to change myself, that I only had that freedom before I knew it existed?

If that's true, then oops.

What Happened Next?

Sooo... Maybe I'm just really strange, but the other day I found myself actually wondering what happened next in that Buffy episode we watched in class. Kinda sad that I thought about it so long after we watched it, but c'mon--it was a To Be Continued! You just don't do that to someone, Mr. Heidkamp!!!!!

Haha I just reread that and realized how lame it sounded.  But I pretty much have nothing else to blog about, unless you want me to recite the parts of the digestive tract which is what I just studied in preparation for my anatomy final on friday. 

Didn't think so.

Therefore:  Buffy the Vampire Slayer.

Goodbye, Blog...

How Can We Define a War?

Our group's Big Idea was a Just War. In the Just War Theory there is criteria one must follow in order to enter a war. A lot of the criteria makes sense, because it avoids needless wars. But when is war ever the right thing? I feel like there are certainly instances when it is the last resort and necessary, but I am also confused about this because we really to tend to over simplify war.

In movies it seems like two sides disagree, hate each other, and bomb each other- violently. It seems pretty simplified to me. Although I guess I haven't seen all of the war movies out there. So much is affected from a war- economically, socially, politically, emotionally, physically- it gets into every realm of life. I think "The Things They Carried" is an awesome book that describes the complexities of war. When do you think war is okay, if ever? It seems almost impossible to define because of the tremendous complexities that go along with war, but how should authorities make the decision then?

The Happy Memories and Painful Memories

I cannot believe High school is over! kinda.. I know a few of you are all struggling for that anatomy final we have on Friday. But aside from finals and projects, I have a few things to share about my high school  experiences.
Lets start off with the bad memories, I still remember the first day I stepped into this gigantic high school feeling, "wow... this is a pretty big school. I'll never figure my way around this building". I'm not going to lie, I'm a senior and i'm going to graduate, I still dont know my way around the buildings. I know it is sad but it is the truth. Another bad memory was honors bio with Ms. ____, she was a very scare lady. I dont think i can think of anymore "bad" memories.

Good memories definitely outweighs the bad. I'll always remember the fun times I had with peers and the new friends i've made at high school. I will also the crazy romps, dances and my crowd surfing experience. These experience will be with me forever. I will bring these memories to college and make more memories there.

Gender/Drag

Today we had a presentation during class about gender. It really sparked thoughts in me about the way society treats those who "aren't the norm." The group discussed the way people tend to make jokes of things that make them uncomfortable, casting them aside as comedy. I began to think about all of the times I have seen homosexuality, drag, transgenders, and many other things get made fun of on a T.V. show or in a movie. A rediculous amount. There are movies when two straight men kiss, and the expected audience reaction is "Ewwwww oh my god they're kissing thats disguisting how gay" and it makes me sick. There are so many different people out there, yet we take specific ideas and beliefs and treat them as if they are freakish or wrong in the media. By making them into a joke, we don't have to discuss why people really believe in them, or what the basis behind that idea is. Instead, we giggle and move on. Its practically a defense mechanism and it makes me mad. Why can't we take transgenders seriously? No it isn't hilarious that someone feels trapped in the body of the opposite sex. That they feel strange and uncomfortable in their bodies. It must be horrible. Yet we laugh at how funny that man looks in a dress and how he is talking like a woman. Its insensitive. I understand that to dress in drag is a separate topic than transgender living, however I feel that the way they are treated is similar. 

Last Post

Ever.

I thought that many ideas would just pop into my head, but I was wrong. I am pretty much just watching the Lakers kill the Spurs right now, and still can't really think of anything important to write about. I mean, the year has been pretty cool I guess, but my mind is certainly not on high school anymore. I don't really look forward to the few finals I have, the projects and papers that are still being assigned due Friday are just bothersome, and I just want to graduate!

Basically the only important thing I can think of is what I regret not doing in HS. Basically I wish I took more chances and joined more clubs.