Imagine sitting in a prison cell, not completely sure how the intricacies of the judicial system work, and recently condemned to death for a murder you did commit, yet through a trial that seriously misrepresented you. With little to entertain you and plenty of time to think about the tragic fate awaiting you, you are left to simply live in your own mind. As you contemplate your iminent death, what is it that bothers you? The idea of losing your life so shortly? The knowledge of all that you never got to do in life? Or is it the specific details of the method by which you will be killed that you feel are less impressive than you initially believed?
It seems rather odd to me that, on pages 111 and 112, Meursault discusses his internal reflections on facing the guillotine, and his concerns do not seem to revolve at all around the death aspect. He seems focused on how he always imagined guillotine executions to be and how he feels let down by how much less exciting they are. For example, he seems genuinely bothered by the fact that a criminal did not actually have to climb a scaffold in order to approach the guillotine, as he had previously believed.
Is it just me, or is it unusual to care seemingly more about whether or not there is a scaffold involved in your execution than the fact that you are going to die soon? And if it is, why does Meursault hold this particular opinion? Is he somewhat in denial about the reality of his death, or does he legitimately accept and welcome the execution?