Word Choices - AP English Literature - Blog

What Matters to You?

As I was filling out some applications last night, I was confronted with a question that simply asked "What matters to you, and why?" It reminded me how a question did not have to be complexly worried to require a thoughtful and thorough answer. That question immediately made me think of Existentialism and the meaning I had chosen to create in my own life.

I wonder what Camus or Sartre would think if I told them that my answer was simply 'happiness.' When I read works in Philosophy, authors treated happiness as a divine goal towards which people strive. It is not something we can find everyday. But I disagree. Even when I feel sick or exhausted or like everything is going against me, if someone were to ask me if I were happy, I would not hesitate to say yes. For me, happiness is appreciation for the opportunities one has been given, and satisfaction with what he or she has been able to make of them. Lately, I have been able to find happiness in the hard work I have been doing, the family and friends I have around me, and the way I can find myself through swimming and dance. These are the things that create meaning in my life. And while Existentialists may argue that I am wrong for deriving meaning from socially-constructed facades, I would say that I am deriving meaning from happiness.

I do not yet know what I want to do with my future. I have no idea where I will end up working, or even where I will go to college yet. I have not specifically decided what I want to do with my life. In fact, the only thing I know for sure is that no matter what, I want to be happy doing it. Personal success is important, yes, but it is just like any of the other constructions I am deriving happiness from now. They might change, and they probably will. The meaning I have found for my life is what makes this college application process so important to me. I do not want to go to a place that necessarily has the most prestige; I want to attend a college that is the best fit for me. I want a college that challenges me, provides me with answers to my curiosity, and has smart people with open minds and hearts because those are some of the things that make me happy.

I wonder how Meursault would answer that college application question.

College Essays Aren't Real Writing

In his essay "Good Readers and Good Writers" Vladimir Nabokov wrote of how literature ought to be a partnership. The author will try to write the greatest work they can, and the reader in return should match this effort and do their very best to imagine and analyze each word as much as it deserves.
"Up a trackless slope climbs the master artist, and at the top, on a windy ridge, whom do you think he meets? The panting and happy reader, and there they spontaneously embrace and are linked forever if the book lasts forever" Nabokov wrote. We know the author works hard, trekking up to the peak of their writing abilities. But the reader must make their own hike, noticing details and hidden ideas in the words, analyzing and thinking, reading and rereading.

It is common knowledge that many high school seniors absolutely resent writing their college application essays. Many adults try to tell us that these essays aren't so bad, that they're a wonderful chance to express our youthful talent and potential. Vladimir Nabokov, however, would probably be on our side. The college essay is an incomplete, impure work of writing by Nabokov's rules, because it is missing one of the key pieces to complete the work- the good reader.
Literature, Nabokov wrote, is "an artistic harmonious balance between the reader's mind and the author's mind." The college essay is no such thing. Admissions officers look over hundreds of essays a day, becoming bored and mentally fatigued. "A good reader . . . is a rereader", Nabokov said. But who could expect an admissions officer to reread an essay? Who could even expect such a reader not to skip sentences?

A college essay is not written for a reader looking for subtlety, details, or any sort multi-layered thought. A college essay is a flashing advertisement pandering to the exhausted mind of an office worker. Anyone who says such a thing is an accurate gauge of writing ability is nuts.

semi parallel: like the euphrates and tigris or a river runs through it or some fruity comparison

On the surface Dead Man may seem like pointless weirdness, or in high school terms "super random." And although I find the symbolism loose and confusing, I do think that there is still a very clear message to the work. This is one of many times I have seen the film but i think it made more sense this time because of the work we had done with, Heart of Darkness and Apocalypse now. 

Besides all of them having a symbolic river in it (as I cleverly alluded to in the title), these three works have many parallel motifs and they all serve similar purposes as works of art in their respective culture. It was because of the close relationship Dead Man had to more explicit work like Heart of Darkness that I could figure out these Purposes. 

All three of these movies form a powerful message on a couple or more different levels. At least two or more levels. One level being sociological or a criticism of actual tangible events in a culture (imperialism, savage wars, western bruteness) and the next a more ontological or 'deep' meaning. It happens that we may be blessed with several 'deep' meanings in each work.

I personally I have noticed allusions to intellectual discovery and universal development as an allegorical theme in each.  to be continued for the extra points...

Movies and Theatre

This is in response to Connors post that compared movies and plays.

While I sympathize with the belief that a more realistic performance will sometimes result in being be "better", I do not think that it is necessarily always true.

As i see it, the stage holds a vital awkwardness that most movies cannot accomplish through its rigid perfections. And although Movies have their difficulties, I think that a proper theatre performance is much more of a triumph and probably better at conveying the overall meaning of the play.  

It could be due to the element of human error, or live audience interactions, but something makes it much more powerful. 

It might also be connected to the fact that in theater performances, lavish exaggeration in ones acting is often encouraged. Especially in shakespeare plays, it would probably be easier to express satire in the acting with out the performance being overdone.  

Let's Face it, I'm Not Going to College!

 

This weekend was my sit down and write college essays weekend which is why Ichose to make this my ranting about college essays blog.  But I'm not even going to do that.  I sat down this weekend with three of my friends in silence and we wrote our college essays on a Saturday night.  At first I was a little skeptical because we are friends, we love to talk and it is a Saturday night, so why not talk. But right when I arrived my friends asked me to read one of my essays to them.  So embarrassingly I pulled out my worst essay and began to read.  It was a mess.  I mean yeah, it was a good idea but take my word for it, it was awful.  The most reassuring part was after I read it, immediately I knew it was really bad.  And Rachel says, " well you don't even need the first half of that paper...It gets good at the second half."  I am so glad they told me that it was sub-par or there is the possibility I would have submitted it and been laughed at by the person reading it.

So then I began to think.  And I read through it again in my head and I said guys it sucks help me fix it.  And they told me tons of suggestions and ways to revise it to make it more interesting.  And then Rachel read her risky yet descriptive essay and Chiara gave me some advice to just free write on a topic and Gaia read her amazing paper and I was so inspired that I wrote one essay in about an hour about something that I am passionate about.  And it is SO much better than the other one that I had written. And, I even liked it. And call me crazy but I had fun writing it too.

So as much as we like to say to our parents, "sorry mom (or dad), im just not going." you gotta love writing the essays.  And if you don't? learn, or get used to it because then writing the essays will be very hard to deal with.  Even though it seems like a drag, I enjoy writing college essays.  You get to express yourself through words and express scenes and emotions through lavish descriptions and you can have fun letting the colleges know who you really are.  I think that is what they are all about.  They dont want generic essays, they want someone new and exciting. 

So good luck, and have fun.

I Love College

College, although the process to get to a University is difficult, and applications are bothersome, I feel like the outcome is extremely rewarding. Within the past year I've visited multiple colleges and the experiences that I have had are quite illuminating. The college life seems so great, fun, and filled with great times. College seems to be an entire new life where highschool drama is deceased, and starting fresh is a light breeze. Applying to schools is sort of fun to me because the thrill of going to college where every person has their best four years of life at, makes me anxious. Knowing the great possibilities of getting accepted into a University is an awesome feeling. 

The only downfall is the continuous work load that college students get. What I'm going to try out and what a lot of other incoming college students should do is always put academics before partying. Hard to say no to but in the end I know doing my homework instead of having so much fun will ultimately be rewarding. 

Going to college always makes me think about all of the other kids in highschool that i'll miss. A lot of memories are kept from the last four years. I know it'll be sad to move on but college is the next best thing in all of our lives. So please, everyone live it up at college no matter what.

 

Holy Crap, College.

As much as I would love to write a post on the complexities, of Light in August, I find myself completely drained after spending two hours every night reading and annotating. I hope to have the energy and complete thoughts next week to be able to write on the novel, but this week I thought I would do a little bit of ranting, letting off some steam.

College. Holy crap. Now let me just tell you, college has been haunting me since freshman year. My sister was a senior when I was a freshman and my parents took it upon themselves to attack me with college information when I was young and terrified of even high school. By sophomore year I forced my parents to make a verbal agreement with me that they would not talk about my collegiate future unless I brought it up. Junior year was hell in a nutshell because college was becoming a reality, and my parents HAD to talk to me about college, luckily I survived that year with just a few tears and panic over grades.

Now I am in my senior year, and because of my fear of procrastination, I have submitted all parts of my applications to my schools, with a little less than a month to spare before my first deadline. My teachers and dean should have my recommendations in by the end of the next week, and my transcripts will be sent out no later than a week after that. All of that seems hunky dory, so why am I still freaking out?!?!

Every night before I go to sleep, or when I am walking through the halls, or basically any time that I have my mind to myself, I am freaking out. What if I have a typo on my apps? Could I have made more changes on my essay? Am I really ready for the commitment of Early Decision? What if I don't get into one of the three schools that I applied too? Do I need another safety school?

What happened to the carefree mindset that seniors were supposed to have once they turn in their apps? I want to be able to actually enjoy school now, and soak in classes for more than just my grade. Maybe I am looking for the senior year gratification too early, but I would like to see at least a sliver of light at the end of the tunnel.

So after rereading this post I realized that I made no progress and came to no conclusion about my college process, but it is slightly satisfying to be able to write it all out. I was also nice to take a break in between reading and annotating LIA.

I Love College but Hate all the Essays...

So, here I am relaxing at the crib, just trying to authenticate my life, when my eyes begin to wonder from my homework to the darkside (sleep). Yea, I admit I was exhausted but I knew I had to do this amazing college paper for english class. So I hopped on my Mac and Googled the snot out of college admission essay topics. That was when I fell upon this very intriguing prompt published by the University of Chicago. It asked me to"define x"...

"Hmmm", I pondered this potentially amazing prompt for over an hour before figuring it out. This is what I came up with:

    X

    What does the letter x mean? Is it merely a variable in a math equation... or is it more? X has made its appearance in the social justice realm associating itself with the likes of Malcolm, as well as in the music industry, athletics, and cinema. Every big decision in life has been made by "signing next to the x". But why has x gained such a celebrity status in our lives? That is the essential question the alphabet has posed to us since the day of its creation. When singing the melodic chorus of the alphabet song I find it intriguing that there is a slight pause after the x, which is justly followed by the elusive "y" character. It is hard for most people to reconcile with it's red-carpet appeal. In order to understand x you must first understand yourself. X represents the pursuit of happiness. It gives reason to our meaningless actions, authenticating our lives in a way nothing else could. X has no value, none, except that of which we associate it with. It's promiscuous qualities have made it the primary steak-holder of the adult film industry. It has also grinded its way into sporting venues, providing athletes and fans with more of a "thrill" than that of which they would, hypothetically, feel watching a normal sport. For all that is good about x, it also has a dark side. Hiding behind a cloak of deception, x, at times, holds the most cynical attributes of our existence. When x does not turn out to be what we were expecting, we feel disappointed, angry, and even depressed. X may mark the spot, but the pursuit of the spot can lead you down a road of distruction and addiction. If you ever run across and x in a dark alley, run. 

College Freak Out

I am completely and utterly lost in the whole college selection process. I have very little idea as to were I want to go or which schools will accept my application. Naviance is of little help because I have no parameters concerning what I want or do not want. I really am not concerned with wether or not my college is small or large, or wether it is in an urban or rural area. I just want a school with solid academics. 

The main problem with the most advice I have received is that everyone attempts to sell you a college. They tell you that its perfect for you or that you will love the campus, but how do they know there is not a more suitable college out there for you? They really have no idea. It seems like the whole college experience has been blown up so much that the most important thing is that you just get in somewhere. It does not even matter where, just that you get in. I am sick of losing my senior year to planning my years to come. 

Rolf V.M.